Am I filming a new drama?

Seems like...I'm the bad girl in the whole drama. I am the one who is always spoiling things? But what I've heard and read about....I'm the main actress in the drama. I am the bad person. I've spoilt people's plan. But am I such a character? There are people who insisted that I'm the bad person, but there are also people that believe in me... I'm struck.
That was just a casual chat. Nobody would have expected all these things to happen. But anyway, all the evidence just showed that I'm in the cause of the problem. I'm trying hard to swallow my tears. IN VAIN.
I am kind of disappointed to see how things went until this state. How I've heard words from people. Utterly disgusted. To think I was affected by the words. But now I shan't. I shan't fret over this matter again. I'm going to stop myself from thinking about this matter from tonight onwards.
I don't blame anyone for this. And I simply don't think this is my fault. I stand by myself, even if no one is to stand up for me.
Maybe I'm seen to be an independent and strong girl, that's why people don't have to think of my feelings. They just thought I will be great. They would just think for the other party. And yes, I will prove them right. I shan't be a weakling again.
I do cry... I believe in crying. But I don't cry in front of people(except 1 or 2 of my close ones). I hate that. I don't want people to pity me. Crying to my pillows, they are my best mates. They are the ones who are listening to my problems every night.
I cried.. Tears just rolled down my cheeks while I was talking on the phone with my zhang bei. Seriously in need of someone to talk to just now. I'm alright now. I'm fine. Guess there shan't be having any trips (with me)....for the time being now.