Melancholic Road

Seriously in need of motivation & time.

Time is running out. Once again, the stress is attacking me again. This thoughts came into me again.

"The world is moving too fast that I can't catch up with them. I'm being left behind...alone. This lonesome route that I'm walking. I'm tired. When can I catch up with the world? I'm feeling very much left out in the world. No one understands what I'm thinking. I'm just a poor kid lost in my route..."

This is what I'm feeling. It's like I'm trapped in this lonesome route, alone. I don't know whether do I've the courage to finish walking alone. I'm upset, & very dejected.

Yes, what happened this few days might be very little stuffs, but it's just adding on to my wound. Everyday, we face new challenges. Yes, I'm all ready for challenges, but I just didn't except that everything negative just happened to me. Both my laptop and desktop died on me. Imagine the 3 years of efforts spent in storing all my music files, and those of my memories. I just got them erased. And yes, both computers died on me twice each. I've spent hell lots of time fixing both. I'm in need of time, and yet such things happened (it's not only the computers problems). I'm rather annoyed. I'm frustrated. I'm angry with myself. I just can't keep up with time. I'm left behind. There isn't much time for me to complete all my task. But these are my responsibilities. I can't give up.  Everything is just coming to me, making me on the verge to break down soon. Real soon.

I remembered the last time I cried was like 1 or 2 months ago. Something happened. Don't wish to bring that silly matter up again. I cried on the phone call withDaphne. Was grateful to her listening to me that day. I called her in the middle of the night. Hindering her time to rest.

I'm feeling as if I've isolated my personal feelings from people. Not as in friends. When I question myself : "Do I have a friend that I will trust now?" Seriously, I don't know. I don't even know is there anyone out there that I could just borrow her/his shoulders to cry.

I'm tired.....very very worn out.

Was feeling despondent recently. This pessimistic thoughts just like to stick to me. But I believe, I'll recover soon.

Lost in my way........

p/s: JH! Don't be too despondent. Everything will be fine. Ever heard of sunshine comes after the rain (阳光总在风雨后。）You will be fine.. ..