Blurdee hell.
Fine FINE fiNE..
So be it..
No chances for me to speak my thoughts. Isn't it dumb? Why? Why is it so hard to knock some senses into them now? And why is it so hard to tell them what I'm thinking about? They are my family, people whom I should share my woes with. But they simply showed me this.
Why is it that I find it easier to talk to someone else from school, friends and also my supervisor about the things I'm thinking and I can't tell to anyone at home? There's no way that I could make them listen to what I've to say; before I managed to tell them anything, they would just cut me off from the topic, trying to tell me that I'm wrong. Is it wrong to just speak out?
I'm feeling terrible. Real Terrible. What do I have more to say, other than saying that I want to live this place.
They just don't understand me. Understand the me now. Who does anyway. No Bodie.
Yes, comment more about me on that. Saying I'm a spoilt brat. Yes, I'm one. But stand in my shoes. Who likes to be known as one? They just could think that my laptop is workable, and so be it. It's workable with hardware and software both corrupted. Running as slow as a Pentium 1 maybe. The most, I'm without any computers in the lab. It's alright. I'm not going to have any new laptops unless I could afford ONE on my own now. Freak the shit. Who cares. No laptops, so be it. Anyway, I'm a programming student, not a student who only do proposals on the laptop. So stop wondering why I need a fast system for. Can you imagine compiling a code and programs hang on you for VERY long? And programs shut down on you whenever they like to. Effective system, isn't it.
People kept saying I've a good life, but who knows what's going on in my mind? Is this really consider good? Or maybe I'm too greedy? Even I myself got myself lost in the process. I'm lost in myself.
Yes, economy isn't good. Money's running low. I understand that too. It's just part of me who kept harping on laptop, SINCE mine is spoilt. Who don't like new stuffs? But did I ever insisted on 1? I gave you my reasons about not buying laptop now. Did you ever listen to what I've to say? Whatever I do, I say, it's deemed to be wrong.
When? When can I leave? It's miserable enough. I have had enough playing the clown. I'm losing myself in the play too. . . Serves me right.
Better off dead. . .
So be it..
No chances for me to speak my thoughts. Isn't it dumb? Why? Why is it so hard to knock some senses into them now? And why is it so hard to tell them what I'm thinking about? They are my family, people whom I should share my woes with. But they simply showed me this.
Why is it that I find it easier to talk to someone else from school, friends and also my supervisor about the things I'm thinking and I can't tell to anyone at home? There's no way that I could make them listen to what I've to say; before I managed to tell them anything, they would just cut me off from the topic, trying to tell me that I'm wrong. Is it wrong to just speak out?
I'm feeling terrible. Real Terrible. What do I have more to say, other than saying that I want to live this place.
They just don't understand me. Understand the me now. Who does anyway. No Bodie.
Yes, comment more about me on that. Saying I'm a spoilt brat. Yes, I'm one. But stand in my shoes. Who likes to be known as one? They just could think that my laptop is workable, and so be it. It's workable with hardware and software both corrupted. Running as slow as a Pentium 1 maybe. The most, I'm without any computers in the lab. It's alright. I'm not going to have any new laptops unless I could afford ONE on my own now. Freak the shit. Who cares. No laptops, so be it. Anyway, I'm a programming student, not a student who only do proposals on the laptop. So stop wondering why I need a fast system for. Can you imagine compiling a code and programs hang on you for VERY long? And programs shut down on you whenever they like to. Effective system, isn't it.
People kept saying I've a good life, but who knows what's going on in my mind? Is this really consider good? Or maybe I'm too greedy? Even I myself got myself lost in the process. I'm lost in myself.
Yes, economy isn't good. Money's running low. I understand that too. It's just part of me who kept harping on laptop, SINCE mine is spoilt. Who don't like new stuffs? But did I ever insisted on 1? I gave you my reasons about not buying laptop now. Did you ever listen to what I've to say? Whatever I do, I say, it's deemed to be wrong.
When? When can I leave? It's miserable enough. I have had enough playing the clown. I'm losing myself in the play too. . . Serves me right.
Better off dead. . .
posted by jEstiN at
11:39:00 PM
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